Crazy Dinosaur Bones

Okay this isn't really a National Park, but it is on the National Mall so we are going to count it.

Crammed butt to belly with other patrons, I gazed upon the fossils of creatures extinct for nearly 250 million years at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. That was until I was reminded by a bit of overheard conversation that these were just plain old lizards that had lived long enough to get really, really big.

"What I want to know is were these things in the Garden of Eden," said Random Citizen #1.

This, of course pinged my sonar, blipped my radar, and snapped, crackled, and popped my Geiger counter. Red alert, all hands to battle stations we are on a collision course with crazy.

"What you have to remember is that reptiles never stop growing. These are just lizards that lived for a very long time and never stopped. That is why alligators get so big." Random Citizen #2 explained.

"Oh," replied #1.

"Adam I told you not to flush that thing down the toilet."

"Woman stop naggin' me and bring me some that knowledge fruit."

This must be true. Several people on yahoo answers said so. It actually involves some tricky Old Math. (As opposed to the New Math that Jesus taught to the money lenders in the temple.) If you take the same numbers that allow Noah to live to be, I don't know, like a 1000 years old, then you can easily see how Adam's pet iguana would eventually become an iguanadon. 

I began to wonder though, how does that explain the Giant Ground Sloth in the next room.

Off Screen Discussion: "You see it was right after 'Let There Be Light' or maybe later, I don't know, but God said unto the creatures great 'Let's Get Small.'"

God